as long as i have music.

i wish to blog, but there are many things that i cant really say.. sigh.. mum's not in the best mood too.. so i dun want to bother her.. maybe i can talk to jie tmr duing dinner.. anyway.. much thanks to cheryl for helping me so much with my blog.. it looks really super cool now.. at least to me lar..
anyway.. lets do some recounting.. today's sectionals was crazy.. we were suppose to learn 3 carols.. the jazzy jazzy type with lots of chromatic stuff... since there was only two keyboard and one piano.. being kind and gentlemanly.. the tenors offered to use the fork to learn the songs.. which we had a really really hard time working on.. we got to use the sop piano only for a while at the end.. haha.. now we know why its not gonna be easy.. there is soooooo much things work on.. notes.. techniques.. the shapping of the music.. etc etc..
anyway.. i was rather distracted and tired.. and was rather demoralised cause i had a hard time getting my part.. but thankfully i didnt give up n work on..
anyway... i haven been in the best of mood.. always leaving the crowd to be alone for a while.. to think abt stuff and stone.. i realised that one of the best places in school is the bleachers.. it is the best place to stone.. and think abt stuff.. it the place i frequent when i have free time without any work to rush on.
anyway.. shall pen again next time..
without wax,
yihui

tada! kidsread finally ended today for the first batch.. all the handing over.. observing.. etc.. everything is done and completed.. phew..finally.. after such a long commitment.. it is done.. relieved.. but still gonna miss those times with those real cute kids.. most lar.. haha.. friday nights are not gonna be the same without seeing those kids.. n teaching them new things.. i m glad i was part of the team that, through our small way, made a great impact to these little kids..

anyway.. i finally understood something.. remember last entry? haha.. i realised that there is much much more things than just boy girl relationships.. who cares abt bgr anyway.. not tat i dun care.. but it is just not the most impt thing in life.. something much more great and wonderful is around.. n i m not even talking abt God's love yet.. friendship.. it is worth much more of our concern then bgr.

the friends in choir is wonderful.. everyone is always there for everyone.. through difficult times.. sad times.. happy times.. staying back to do homework.. helping each other with studies.. esther helping me to trim my gp articles while complaining tat they look horrible.. telling each other our adverntures.. n most imptly.. encouraging each other through the love of God.. and how God made an impact in our lives.. indeed.. friendships made through music can help us surmount any difficulty..

choir life is gonna be difficult in time to come.. there are still many things to work on.. n its gonna be exciting with just 4 tenors supporting each other.. but once again.. friendships made through music can lead us through all these difficulties...

i begin to see my life changing.. improving.. more God centered.. more focus.. more appreciative in the things around me.. more matured.. thank you Lord for your providence..

i can do all things through Lord who gives me strength...

without wax,

yihui

"can u feel the love tonight.."
quotes from a whole new world...
oh well.. not tat i m in love.. just feel like.. want to.. envy i guess..
sigh.. walking down the road.. the school.. seeing ppl in pairs.. it kinda make me envy.. i guess every likes to be loved or to have someone to love..
but oh well.. i promise God tat i shall not have relationship now.. to keep focus on my studies.. n ya.. do wad i have to do..
but even if i didnt make tat promise.. i wouldnt be in a relationship anyway.. who wants a fat malay boy anyway..
oh well.. ramdom entry..
mind over heart.. yes yes yes.. indeed.. its ok to envy.. but.. oh well.. who cares.. tada.. tats all..

without wax..

yihui

today is a day overflooded with emotions.. i was simply touched.. to tears..
today was a special day.. farewell.. the last rehersal tat the senoirs are going to have with us.. the farewell session started of with the j1s singing special moments to the seniors.. then a video which had me featured as a retarted animal in the zoo.. sigh.. i lost all my face and reputation.. all thanks to h*** y*... urgh.. but ya.. we gave the senoirs our special made plates.. n they were really happy.. then the senoirs sang songs for us.. give us presents n presented a video too.. the teachers received presents too..

when we sang.. they teared.. when we watch the two video presentation.. we cried.. when the senoirs sing.. they cried.. they teachers cant help but cry too.. it wasnt tears of sadness..for acjc choir members never leave the choir.. they always come back as alumini.. it was tears of joy.. for knowing that the person beside us havc been through so much with us.. through hard times.. happy times.. difficult times.. looking back at all the photos.. we remembered all the times we spent together.. how much we all have been through.. as a choir.. as a batch..

i didnt cry.. but i teared.. because wad the j2s said.. wad they sing.. was so close to me.. n i feel every word they say.. n every emotion they felt.. singing will be different without these friends.. having these friends without music will be a different story too.. it is this choir.. these friends tat made the whole experience so special.. so different.. n so close to my heart..

i have a lot so say.. but i dun noe wad to say.. cause like madam.. i cant find words to express how i feel.. cause everything is in the heart.. so close n.. ya.. so close.. i can only attempt to describe it.. by sharing the lyrics of the song we presented.. special moments..

lord today we thank you.. for all that you have done..
for earth and sky for air we breathe.. stars and morning sun.
for FRIENDSHIPS and for FAMILIES.. for MEMORIES THAT WE SHARE..
for Growing daily in your love and in your watchful care.
and for the SPECIAL MOMENTS..
the times when we recall..
a BROTHER's guiding presence..a SISTER's gentle call..
the LAUGHTER and the SINGING.. the teaching of your way..
the quiet times TOGETHER..
that taught us how to pray..
though the years go by too quickly..
and our lives are rearranged..
still the lessons learn in choir will always stay the same..
the sacred love God gave us..his grace to us bestowed..
those SPECIAL MOMENTS in our lives with those who LOVED US SO..

yes.. the word in bold spoke the things in my heart.. seniors.. i can never thanks u enough for all the things u have taught us.. wishing u all the best in the upcoming exams.. fellow j1s! its our turn to run our fair share of race.. to do wad we have to do.. and by next year.. we will be able to reflect.. n enjoy our fruits of labour..

the steadfast love of the lord never ceases..

without wax..
yihui

mind over heart. just as the heart is strong, the mind is stronger. that was the advice mum gave when i told her wads troubling me. i will not go on blabbling about wad happen. it will be a suicide move.. oh well.. but the mind.. is it really tat powerful?of course i will say the same thing to friends if i have to advice them or encourage them on things.. but i noe as much as it is easy to say.. it is difficult to act. very. extremely. i want to jump out of it too.. but i find it hard.. the stinging feeling in the heart that bothers me.. but i noe there is nothing i can do but to fight against my emotions. its not really bothering me a lot.. but it is not something tat i can just brush away too.. so... wad m i talkin abt? haha.. i dunno.. i promise mum that i will be ok.. so ok i shall be.. mind over heart.. mind over matter..maybe i shd start listening to gp lesson.. politics sounds fun.. so till then........without wax, yihui

again

blogging twice in a day shows how eager i m to share the experience in this blog. oh well.. yup.. to begin with, choir roxs.. yea
ok.. so wads so special?
well, today's interview for committe was ok.. it made me think alot n realise things that i never tot of and.. ya.. small things tat makes up the big picture.. n stuff.. it humbled me a lot too.. knowing how immature n unready i was for the post.. the learning process is of much worth than getting a post.. to me at least.. oh well.. wad a disjointed blog.. haha.. but ya.. things are floating all over my mind... lots of things to think abt.. absorb.. n learn..
however.. its not the main point! wad makes me so happy and so hyper is the tot of how much we all have bonded through all these.. all those who had interview today.. we waited for everyone to finish and we all shared our wonderful experience and well.. maybe a little scary experience.. haha.. we talked a lot abt many things.. give pats hugs and lots and lots of encouragment to each other.seeing each and everyone there being there for someone.. these feeling.. wow.. drives me speechless.. we spent lots of time together today and talked abt lots of stuff.. i felt so bonded.. supported.. loved.. cared .. by everyone around.. i noe my sentence structure is horrible.. but i cant think and articulate properly now.. i m.. overwhelmed in a sense..
and before we left.. we sang carols! haha.. we were singing ansuri while walking out of sch.. the feeling was great.. great.. great..
i have never experience such bond of friendship in my life.. n its indeed God's grace n his wonderful plan.. :)
lets us all grow together ppl.. lets us go through the difficult times.. lets us go as one choir.. one voice.. one family.
without wax,
yihui

back..

hm.. i m suppose to carry on with my birthday celebration reports, but i guess i have been thinking alot abt stuff such tat i dun really think its appopriate to write anymore.. there have been lots of things i want to write abt, but things just comes and goes at such a fast pace tat i have no time to narrate them out.
guess it due to the com interview season.. sets me off into the thinking mood.. which kinda affects me a lot.. lotsa things disturbing me too.. having to pop pills at intervals everyday.. mom wanting me to quit choir(as usual) and many many other stuff. it sorts of drive me to extreme moody mood.i refuse to talk to friends and separate myself from ppl, thinking abt stuff.. as usual.. oh well.. sorry ppl.. i kinda made u worried.
but oh well.. God's grace.. i recovered in a day's time.. i went off into an extreme hyper mood.. n the best thing is tat i kinda recovered a close friendship within myself.. (those who noe will noe.. those who dun noe u are not suppose to noe anyway.. so dun ask)
wanna thank lots of friends who gave me lots of support n encouragement.. limmy mum.. tin en.. pear.. limin.. thank for being there.
oh ya.. choir rox.. no doubt abt it.. at first, i find myself hard to focus n concentrate.. i wasnt enjoying myself during rehersal.. at first of course. but it is impossible to cheer up when u have a group of friend making music together.. i find myself smiling again after quite some time.. there is no better thing than to sing with friends. love u ppl man.. we rox! haha..
anyway.. i guess soon the whole world noes tat i have a blog.. even though i didnt really wanted lots of ppl to noe its very existance. but if u find my blog, welcome!
haha.. i m suppose to be having pw lessons now.. but oh well..
anyway.. thanks thanks and much thanks.. i m fighting back with ferocious reslience to the core.. n i m rising above the doline.. maybe polje(hopefully i got it right) right.. tats all for now.. i guess..
i m feeling much better. i m soaring like eagle.. i can i will n i m. yea
God bless
without wax,
yihui

birthday part 1

oh yay! birthday.. its a normal boring day with nothing much.. not much presents but lots of well wishes and suprises.. wanna kinda share something more serious and sad.. but since its my birthday season.. it have to be something happy right!? haha..
yup.. the birthday season starts from friday actually, even though my birthday was on sat.. it wasnt the perfect way to start the birthday season.. i had a terrible day at the ent specialist cause i kinda seen the worst of medical treatment.. the last lesson was english, and the english teacher wasnt around.. so my classmates were like.. oh yar! yihui.. heee.. they started locking the door and stuff.. haha.. the tradition of tao pok and stripping.. the first attempt to escape failed as they caught up with me and pulled my back to class.. so everyone went to complete their assigment.. well.. i had to see mr sum abt geo stuff and attend kidsread meeting aft sch. i cant go off tattered and torn all over. so after the five min bell i slipped off and ran.. hee.. and escaped the torturous tradition.
hmm.. after kidsread i took value air went to mr lynn's office in syberia and asked him for birthday present.. he replied " sure! no problem.. let me see if there is anything valuable left on anyone's table..hee" and he gave an evil grin.. haha..
ok.. tats for friday..
there wasnt much on sat itself.
morning there was choir.. and while i was telling the geo stds the geo lecture time.. n apologising for my stupid mistake... they were kind n lovely enough to sing a bithday song for me.. thanks.. ppl.. yup..
received lots of well wishes.. limin.. mingyan.. charissa( who only knew my birthday was on sat on fri).. ben.. david.. deborah.. all the geo stds..and many many more.. yup.. thanks ppl..
aft tat was tenor bonding with the alumni at marche..
and i went home to slack.. a lot.. and slp at eight.. haha..
oh well.. before i fell asleep, i recived a call from a church mate.. n when i picked up the phone i heard lots of shouts.. it was like tat..
"one two three... happy birthday!" haha.. my friends who was at fellowship called to send me their well wishes.. haha.. they wanted me to go out and eat dinner.. but i was too tired.. haha.. kinda a wrong way to end ones birthday by slping.. but.. oh well..
haha.. there is still sunday! haha.. but kinda gotta be long.. so i guess i have to do it hamstar style n split it into versions.. haha.. so till then.. birthday part 2 is on its way! tada..

reopening

oh well.. just in case my jie complains tat she cant read my blog cause she has no friendster, i haved moved hse to blogspot! hse warming! alright.. this is the previous single entry in the old address..

the first entry.....

greetings. i am embarking on a new journey of blogging, a quest that i forsee no long term goal, for my blogs never last more than 3 entries.
haha.. alright.. i m no writer, and ppl comment on wad i say or type all the time. i lack of the humour tat hamstar have, or the literature style of writing mom uses. however, i shall be me! true blue me. i dun expect lots of ppl reading my blog anyway, cause i will only be telling close friends abt its very existence.
oh well.. so why on earth do i blog? well.. cause things go through my mind, and bogs me all the time.so this will be my venting machine, to write what goes through my mind and to let my friends noe wad is wrong with me.. in case they worry about me.
so let me start my first blog with what i have been thinking about these few days..... (and so the journey begins.. tada!)
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ok.. enough of being lame.. firstly.. i m a irritating boy.. very.. n i find myself irritating ppl all the time. tats eqn 1. eqn2: God gives me lots of gift.. among them he floods me with emotion.. n he puts a big space in my heart for my friends. my friends are especially dear to me n i treasure them real lots... so friends.. never under estimate how much u mean to me.. cause u are priceless.. prehaps ppl find this too girlish, but i will take tat as God's gift.
so what does tat mean? ans: eqn 1 + eqn 2 = trouble
how so? i will always be worrying abt me irritating my friends and losing them in the end.. thats my worst nightmare. the focus of what i do n how i behave will always be on how not to lose my friends. how not to irritate them.. n how to keep more to myself. i m no longer caring more for my friends because i m afraid tat my care would be an act of irritation. i no longer open up myself and share myself with friends because of the same fear. i m so afraid of losing what is in my hand and grip on to it so tight that i deny myself of receiving more by opening up my hand. sad isn't it?
i guess there are many things tat i got to learn. learn to let go. learn not to care so much of how ppl think abt me. learn to trust God.. learn to trust me friends..learn to be less irritating.. learn to be more independent...
to all my friends out there.. sorry for being such an irritating friend.. sorry for closing up on u.. i still love u all.. i just gotta learn to be more mature i guess.. and thanks for being there for me all the time.. mum.. charissa.. and many many more.. thanks for being great friends, n give me time to learn to be ur great friend too. thank you..
without wax,
yihui