reopening
oh well.. just in case my jie complains tat she cant read my blog cause she has no friendster, i haved moved hse to blogspot! hse warming! alright.. this is the previous single entry in the old address..
the first entry.....
greetings. i am embarking on a new journey of blogging, a quest that i forsee no long term goal, for my blogs never last more than 3 entries.
haha.. alright.. i m no writer, and ppl comment on wad i say or type all the time. i lack of the humour tat hamstar have, or the literature style of writing mom uses. however, i shall be me! true blue me. i dun expect lots of ppl reading my blog anyway, cause i will only be telling close friends abt its very existence.
oh well.. so why on earth do i blog? well.. cause things go through my mind, and bogs me all the time.so this will be my venting machine, to write what goes through my mind and to let my friends noe wad is wrong with me.. in case they worry about me.
so let me start my first blog with what i have been thinking about these few days..... (and so the journey begins.. tada!)
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ok.. enough of being lame.. firstly.. i m a irritating boy.. very.. n i find myself irritating ppl all the time. tats eqn 1. eqn2: God gives me lots of gift.. among them he floods me with emotion.. n he puts a big space in my heart for my friends. my friends are especially dear to me n i treasure them real lots... so friends.. never under estimate how much u mean to me.. cause u are priceless.. prehaps ppl find this too girlish, but i will take tat as God's gift.
so what does tat mean? ans: eqn 1 + eqn 2 = trouble
how so? i will always be worrying abt me irritating my friends and losing them in the end.. thats my worst nightmare. the focus of what i do n how i behave will always be on how not to lose my friends. how not to irritate them.. n how to keep more to myself. i m no longer caring more for my friends because i m afraid tat my care would be an act of irritation. i no longer open up myself and share myself with friends because of the same fear. i m so afraid of losing what is in my hand and grip on to it so tight that i deny myself of receiving more by opening up my hand. sad isn't it?
i guess there are many things tat i got to learn. learn to let go. learn not to care so much of how ppl think abt me. learn to trust God.. learn to trust me friends..learn to be less irritating.. learn to be more independent...
to all my friends out there.. sorry for being such an irritating friend.. sorry for closing up on u.. i still love u all.. i just gotta learn to be more mature i guess.. and thanks for being there for me all the time.. mum.. charissa.. and many many more.. thanks for being great friends, n give me time to learn to be ur great friend too. thank you..
without wax,
yihui