i felt really demoralised abt friendships a few days ago..
recalling....
there are so many times when i made really really good friends.. those we pledge never to forget.. that we promised to do everything to keep our friendships the closest and the best.. and yet most of the times friendships are lost as time goes by.. not really lost.. but just that people are no longer close to each other.. they have new friends.. they are no longer close to me.. i no longer share those great bonds with them anymore..
is there really no friendship tat is forever?! must friendships that i have worked so hard for to forged come to a naught?! tell me!!!
that was the thought that was running in my mind.. as memories of good times with old friends flash across my mind..
i m still thinking abt it now too.. looking at those pics at my blog.. these friends that i have.. am i going to lose them someday too? if so, why work so hard to be the best friend i can be?
sigh...
i guess if i dun even take the step of faith.. i wun have friends to start with.. what more memories to speak about? its nobody's fault if my friends are no longer close to me.. not mine not theirs.. the only thing i can do is to walk on and continue to be the best friend i can be to those around me.. even if they might harm me.. upset me in the future..
sigh.. why m i feeling so sad..
anyway.. really proud of these two choir guys.. we were at coffee bean with mum and were chatting.. then someone posted the qn: if there are only j1 choir mates around.. who will u chose to be with? and they chose mum.. said it right in front of her..
such act of bravery.. when can i ever do that..
see mum! ppl do love u.. cause u are ever lovable.. its not true that u nv were in the chosing position.. u always were.. just that u never knew.. but well.. of course.. anyone who wants to be my dad have to undergo real tough interview, training and trials before they can succeed.. hehheh.. my mum is like my most impt friend k.. if u are looking for just a fling.. u better scram.. i m trained in body combat k.. *16 uppercut!* *hike!!!!* haha..
anyway.. i will still be looking for the friendship that last forever.. still looking for that someone who will tell me that i m loveable too.. waiting waiting.. and trust that God has his plan for me..
withoutwax,
yihui