trying really hard not to fall into the depressed mood these few days. maybe mum is right.. exposing myself to all the negative emotions by my friends has taken its toll on me.. and i m trying really hard not to slip back into those bad days.. was sitting at the bleachers after choir today.. and just felt sad.. ok.. no really that bad.. bleachers is a wonderful place nonetheless.

well.. seriously have no idea wad i m upset abt.. no bgr to worry abt.. no exams.. its shd be fun! but i m not really fully into the fun mood yet..

maybe its just my insecurities that is bugging me again.. i have always been insecure abt my friendships since a long time ago.. many times i often wonder how much i mean to my friends.. there are times i guess where someone means a lot to me.. and i really do everything i could to be the best possible friend.. but i am just someone of lesser importance to that individual.. no reason why.. just like that.. i just do not mean as much to that person as he or she is to me..

i wonder who realised that i was in a lousy mood today? who really bothered in the first place?

right.. i m suffering from the limmy syndrome..

i guess these are the times where i really qn myself if i shd really give all out to really be the best i could.. as a friend of course..

and its not just friendship.. its applies in singing.. in studies.. no matter how hard i work.. i am not comparable to someone.. it fustrates me to noe that equivalent trade does not apply in life. why bother working for them then?

i noe that is of course the wrong attitude.. and anyone reading this.. the rare few.. dun worry.. i will be fine soon.. promise.. too much to do an improve to wallow in self pity.

there are many other things that contribute to this bad mood.. for one, bad hair day.. i went to get a hair cut.. and walked out looking like a punk who booked out from army.. *now whole lot of u pumping position down!*

my singing hasnt been really improving too.. i have been working too much on the wrong techniques and i just cant seem to get it right? and i have lots of trouble getting the jumps.. the fourths.. four and a half semi tone jumps.. and madam tries really hard to teach.. (thanks madam) its really irritating to noe ur mistakes but just cant get the right method and correct it.. carolling is round the corner and i dun feel that i have the capacity to perform well yet. everyone is excited abt the junior comming in.. but i dun feel that i have the skills to impart yet.. fustrating indeed..

but nonetheless.. like i've always said.. the tenors never give up..
never.
ever.

likewise.. i m just complaining.. tmr i would probably forget eveything and go around behaving like a retarded animal.. life is wonderful after all! =)

besides.. there are wonderful music.. there is this group called il divo which david charles introduced to me.. and they sound really good. i simply love the version they sang for o holy night.. it is simply heavenly when they resolve a chord near the ending.. *not sure if thats how u explain it..* its a must hear.

christmas is coming too! wonderful season.. carolling.. getting fitter.. presents.. outings.. stayovers.. yay yay! =)

bsides op is over! i can finally throw everything away.

so wad is my hols plan?

1) revision
2)clean and maybe rerenovate my room
3)sing and get fitter
4)exercise and lose weight *determined not to let those idotic teachers suan me next year*
5)play play play play play play

wonderful huh?! =)

oh well.. thats of course if i have time..
if.. =)