this week has been an amazing week.

this was what happened.

well. terms last week.

well. this terms is sort of important to me because i needed to prove.
to prove myself and my parents that i can perform for my studies.
i studied quite hard actually.
although i could have done more. definitely.
i studied like crazy for math, and was very confident that i can do very well.
but after the exams. i felt like crap. yes i wrote that in my previous entry.
so i got back my paper.
and i failed.

ever since i was young. i had the impression that i was smart enough to do well for my studies. if i studied hard enough. so i attibuted my poor performance since young as lazy.
ego. confidence. in control.

this terms dashed everything.
no. i am not in control.
i am not as smart as i thought i was.
i am not in control.

i was worried that my parents would use terms to pressure me to quit choir.
so after getting back my math results there was lots of things running through my mind..
confused. angry. worried. upset. disappointed.

*jesus take the wheel, take it from my hand..*

i was walking towards the sports com for sectionals. acsi junior was having sports day in our school, and they were playing this song through the speaker.

i almost broke down. but there were other people around me. so i looked for a quiet corner.
and i cried.

(jesus take the wheel, take it from my hand, cause i cant do this all my own. )
(i cant do this all my own)
(jesus take the wheel)

all that struggle to control my own life.
the believe that its wat i do that matters.
the song shook me, and brought me back to God.

clement sent me the song again that night.
and the song brought me down again.

so much personal ego.
so much desire for control.
but only God is in control.
only Him.

i've been touched ever since.
*jesus take the wheel*

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm onFrom this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh