as long as i have music.

songs that i grew up with..

ladies and gentlemen....

IF I LET YOU GO..

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you knowI've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you) You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? (oh yeah)
How will I know[Shane:] if I let you go ?
If I let you go ooooh baby Ooooooooohhhhh
Once again I'm thinking about Taking the easy way out Ooooooooohhhhh

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?(oh yeah)
How will I know([ if I let you go?)
But if I let you go I will never know ( oh baby)
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?( oh yeah)
How will I know if I let you go ?

Random sporadic thoughts.. ready? lets go..
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remember the entry i wrote about my secondary school friend? the guy who was playing the xbox game with a primary school kid? today i saw 3. what can i say? =)

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one thing. HI ALBERT!!!!!!!!!
haha.. he reads my blog! i am surprised. (the same reaction he had with regards to my recent "matured thought". i am surprised you think now.) haha. thats what he said. haha. i love albert. taught me so much.
thanks bro! long johns rox! haha..

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i met yihui! yay! hi yihui. nice to meet you! do send me that photo.. haha.. i'll post it on my blog.
yihui(male) meets yihui(female). how cool can that be? =)

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limmy just taught me something.
sometimes. 'bad things' are there to teach you to hold on dearly to the 'right ones' when they come along.
every lesson strenghtens you and teach you to become a better person.
isnt it?
sometimes..i guess part of my really hope that 'right ones' can come along soon.
and i probably would hold on to it like crazy.
haha..
sorry peeps. cant elaborate.
but how true.
Lord give me strenght.

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i just love my juniors.
i can still remember how they were all still young and restless.(ops. haha..)
how they have to adapt to choir life.. rules and regulation..
how they struggled along the way.
how they grew to become who they are today.
how they.. to a certain extend. never give up.
how they.. even if they disagree with us, understands our stand.
how they.. grew to become our friends..
how they.. truely become part of the choir..
how they.. matured.
its amazing how much one can grow in the acchoir experience.
you guys are my source of inspiration and strenght too!
God bless good souls like you.

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Albert! Mark! remember the coffee we had at london airport!? i just had a cup of coffee at coffee bean and i was reminded of that super good coffee we had! do try it again during tour and let me know if it is still up to standard.
sigh. i sure hope i can go tour.
but. i had my share.
its time to move on.
there are much much more things out there life.

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son.
your dad.
is an it moron.
i have no idea how to remove that tag.
abt how you want deb to hug you first!
haha.. ops.
when i know how to do that.
i will do so.
otherwise.
hehheh. =)

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evening with friends.
what can i say.
first half.
credible.
kasar.
died.
worse than silent night.
i made two stupid mistakes.
and almost killed myself after the first half.
thank goodness there are good friends around to pull me up again.
but.
BUT.
but. =)
second half was amazing.
sang my heart out.
sang with my friends.
performed with everything i could.
shared my music.
it was all that matters.
i've done it.
its done.
and i'm lovin it.
haha.
it was am amazing evening with friends.
with friends.
friends.

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having come thus far in this life changing journey.
a crazy combination of different emotions running through my mind.
i am reminded of how words are insufficient.
many things are just..
beyond words.
beyond words.
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there are times where the journey seemed impossible.
difficult and perilous.
this song just reminded me.
there is no journey as difficult than this..

Why?- Nicole NordemanWe rode into town the other day, just me and my Daddy. He said I'd finally reached that age, and I could ride next to him on a horse that of course was not quite as wideWe heard a crowd of people shouting and so we stopped to find out why There was that man that my dad said he loved, but today there was fear in his eyesSo I said Daddy why are they screaming? Why are the faces of some of them beaming?Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe? I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows Daddy please can't you do something? He looks as if he's going to cryYou said he is stronger than all of those guys-Daddy please tell me why, why does everyone want him to die?Later that day the sky grew cloudy and daddy said I should go insideSomehow he knew things would get stormy, boy was he rightBut I could not keep from wondering if there was something that he had to hideSo after he left I had to find out, I was not afraid of getting lostSo I followed the crowds to a hill where I knew men had been killedAnd I heard a voice come from a cross:And it said : Father why are they screaming.Why are the faces of some of them beaming?Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?? I bet that crown hurts him more than he showsFather please can't you do something? I know that you must hear my cryI thought I could handle a cross of this size, Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die.When will I understand why?My precious Son, I hear them screaming. I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own. Jesus this hurts me more than you know But this dark hour I must do nothing. I've heard your unbearable cry'the power in your blood destroys all the lies, soon you?ll see past their unmerciful eyes. Look there below see the child trembling by her father's side. Now I can tell you why, she is why you must die.

hope. there is always hope.
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thats all folks. good day.
God bless. ( a good habit i've learnt from my granddaughter andrea.=) )

we take people for granted all our lives.
because they are just there.
and it never crossed our minds that things would change.
until..
it really did happened.

i guess many of us are really upset about it.
even though she is still serving. (for as long as she can)
but everything is so different.

thank you for teaching us so many things.
thank you for being a role model.
thank you for moulding our character.
thank you for sharing the music.

"passion makes you crazy, but is there any other way to live?"

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i am reminded.. oh how people can make the same mistakes again and again. lessons have been learnt the hard way.

but things just have to happen again.

oh well.

sorrowful indulgence.

what does it mean to you?

i saw a fellow secondary sch mate(he is j2 this year) playing an xbox game at a computer shop at jurong point this afternoon. he opponent? a primary sch kid.

food for thought: does technology bridge age differences, or it reduces our maturity to those of a small little kid?

i wonder

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there are so many complications in life. irony. desires.
to want to know.
to be in control.
to feel loved.
only by the ones we love.
to want to be the best. be in the limelight.
to look good. look pretty.
to be smart.
to be good at everything. sports. musical talents.
to meet the expectations of others.
and expectation of ourselves.
to desire friends.
to desire companionship.
to know how the same 'love'
can produce different results.
when its given by different people.
to desire attention from someone who desires for another's.

the complexity of life and the rules and definitions of the world.
has turned our world into maze.
only to struggle in it and cry in despair.

life is always a struggle. here and there. isnt it?
i guess we have forgotten..
that the only way to get out of the maze is to walk.
and trust your guide.
you will get out.
somehow. someday.

sometimes we really need to learn how to be a kid.
sometimes we really need to learn how to smile again.
we need new dreams.

smile my friend. smile.
everything is alright.
it always is. =)

"the world of politics revolves around common benefits. friendship is not about being kind or compassionate. no one is going to care if thousands are dying in the country if there is no benefit awaiting"

the world is a sad place. the ne talk has brought reality back to idealistic teenagers.
love? care? compassion? excuse me?

we live in a survival driven world. its all about personal benefits. its all about me me and me.
what do i get. what i want.
pragmatism.

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its a cold, chilly night. it was drizzling as a bunch of friends were on the bus on a rocky journey home after a performance. the few of us.. singing with the purest heart. of the purest intend. the voices might not be all out beautiful. but the hearts of the people then were bounded by the music they sang.. the passion they had.. they friendships they shared..
we were singing.. on suri su rantas. a song that depicts the desolate.. the lonliness.. the sorrow.. yet woven with god rest ye merry gentlemen.. proclamining the hope that christ brings.
i thought the rocky ride home.. was similar to the song we sing.. and the experience we had. so much ups and downs in life.. so much sorrow.. and difficult times.. yet so much hope. so much love. so much passion. embedded in every action..

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most people hate napfa. especially those who hate sports. however.. i love napfa, to a certain extend, as it is not only a chance to push myself beyond my physical limits.. but it shows a lot about friendship.
i am a terrible runner i must say.. and i am slow.. but throughout my run on thursday.. scores of people were cheering for me.. spuring me on.. pacing me..best friends.. good friends.. normal friends.. even strangers!
they dont benefit from anything. they dont get anything in return for helping me.. for cheering me on.. but they did. friendship. love. simple words that explains the motivation.

much thanks to ben, who kept reminding me about God.. christina.. marilyn.. krystal.. ying ling.. and many many others who were there to spur me on..

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lots of things happened these few days.. and it kept me thinking consistently.. the world is such an unfeeling place.. so cruel.. so evil..
yet it is through darkness that light truimph.
it is through darkness that we see the need for light.
and the show crashed reminded me the basic humanity that we all have.
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love never fails.
God bless.
yihui